Emz-the-geographically-variable

This afternoon my growing animosity for the city of Beijing blossomed into full-blown hatred. The mission: go to Silk Street to get suits fitted and refitted. The team: myself, Sasha (obviously), Sascha (confusingly), Olé (the Norwegian), and Daniel (the Spanish). The conditions: 42C, actually sunny (! Possibly because of a test of cloud-seeding with silver iodide which they are hoping to use before the Olympics next year?), polluted as usual, and crowded as always. The date: 08 08 2007, which turned out to be significant.
 

The suit fittings occurred uneventfully. My two suits are coming along, though they do need a few little adjustments since the Chinese tailor underestimated my bottom/waist ratio. This was actually a good shopping experience since the people have skills and are doing work, rather than just theiving merchants. I was thinking about getting a dress made but chickened out at some point. We all bought some underwear (mine is red) and went to the shoes and bags floor because some people wanted shoes and bags (logical, aren’t we?). I don’t like that floor because the off-gassing of new plastic is sickening.  My endurance for shopping is sub-par for my sex, and this proved to be a real trial.  A demonstration of the conditions ensue.
 

Emz: *curiously looks at item while trying to determine quality, value, etc.*
 

Little Chinese lady #1 (LCL#1): Oooh! You, lady! Lady! Come here in my shop! I see you nice girl, I give you vey good price!
 

Emz: No thanks, I’m just looking! *smiles Canadianly and attempts to move on*
 

LCL: What you want? We have many styles! What size you want to try! Vey comfortable!
 

Emz: No thanks, really I’m just looking. *keeps walking*
 

LCL: *grabbing by the arm and dragging inside* I see you student! Very good price! Vey special, just for you! Wehr you from?
 

Emz: *attempting to disentangle self without causing offence* I’m from Canada. No, no, really, I’m looking for my friends. I don’t want to buy anything.
 

LCL: Oooh! Canada! Vey nice country! Here, you sit down, you tired! *pushes onto stool* I give you vey good price because you from Canada! We good friends! How much you offer?
 

Etc., etc.
 

Towards the end of our visit I just started messing with them.
 

LCL#4872: You! You! Nice lady! Vey special price just for you! What you looking for lady, you tell me what you want!
 

Emz: I want nothing, thank you.
 

LCL#4872: You want…. Nothing? *very confused*
 

Emz: No thank you. It’s been well proven that material wealth does not increase happiness. I am perfectly content in my current state of material being.
 

LCL#4872: *completely lost, is jostled out of the way by LCL#4873*
 

LCL#4873: Hello! You want buy some chilren’s close?
 

Emz: No thank you. Don’t like children.
 

LCL#4873: *momentarily thrown off-balance* You buy some! Your childen vey beautiful in real silk dess!
 

Emz: No really, I don’t have childen. I don’t like them. They smell and they are ugly, even in silk dresses.
 

LCL#4873: *uncertain pause* …well, gifts! You need some childens close for gifs!
 

Emz: Heavens, no! I don’t associate with people who have children!
 

Etc., etc. You have to be careful not to get screwed, I got handed something I bought tied in a plastic bad and when I opened it I discovered it was not what I asked for (and forced them to exchange! “Oh, vey solly!” And they tell you all kinds of crap is real leather or 100% cotton or silk or whatever). They occasionally get nasty and start insulting you if you refuse to buy something, which can be interesting too “What wrong with your fend? Something wrong with her head, I tell you she need go to hospital! Really good price!”
 

I had the intention of buying some more gifts for my people and for myself, but was prevented by an overwhelming sense of revulsion for the human race, not for the style of the markets here, but the sheer excess of needless consumption, and much of it is junk which breaks after a few uses and must be tossed. This culture is merely a reflection (maybe with a convex mirror?) of the West, who everyone wants to be like. In this underground artificially lit world we fight each other for pennies. These people do it 12 hours a day all week, poor things. I want no more part in it.
 

Sasha and I split at some point from the boys who apparently still wanted to shop (!) and after an ice cream began to walk to Tiananmen square. Our destination was slightly beyond it, at a teahouse where my department had arranged a social evening at a teahouse/variety show. The roads are wide, the blocks are long, and the traffic and hawkers are unrelentless. And then came a human traffic jam, governed by a squad of policemen who were not letting it turn in any direction and were blocking the pedestrian underpass. They may have been herding people in small groups down under the underpass and somewhere else, but it was really unclear and going very slowly. After about 5 minutes Sasha and I decided to play dumb and make a break for it, just crossing the road and going on our way which didn’t appear to be in the direction of the blockade.
 
We were chased down and yelled at by two policemen. My Canadian veneer had been rubbed thin by the sweaty skin of a thousand human beings and I was surprised to find myself challenging him. He was getting quite angry and pointing at his hat and saying “No no no!” and pointing back the way we had come, when a scrolling message in red LED lights appeared in my consciousness which went like this: YOU ARE IN CHINA, MORON. PLEASE STOP YELLING AT THE POLICEMAN. Fortunately at that moment part of the crowd behind me took advantage of my distraction to slip past the other side. The police turned their attention away for a second, and we slipped by and crossed the 8 lanes of traffic at a run with a flock of bicycles.
 

Other areas were blocked too, and it gradually dawned on us that the date today is 08 08 2007 which is exactly 365 days before 08 08 2008, the start of the Olympic games here and a very lucky number for the Chinese, who like 8. Several long blocks separated us from our destination, all with a crowd density greater >5 people per square meter, and a few shoving matches broke out. We were not happy monkeys when we finally arrived.
 

The variety show was quite interesting, though I think I will never appreciate Chinese opera. I did like the Changing Faces (described earlier), a couple of guys who made noises with their mouths and did some very convincing bird conversations, some Kung Fu dudes, some Chinese rap, and most impressively a guy who danced and did tricks with a gigantic heavy clay pot. I got that on video. We drank tea and had interesting snacks.
 

After, Beijing was still a mess. We had absolutely no interest in seeing what was going on in the Square, so we broke in to fours and looked for taxies. They were all full so we walked a lot and took the subway. It was full too. I think it is not possible not to see a crowd of people in China. With us was a Chinese guy who has lived in Beijing for 2 years (he was complaining about Beijing too, for the record) and had never taken the subway, so it was funny to show him how it worked (we are pros!). The subway was even more of a mess than usual, I spent 45 minutes standing glued to 4-5 other people, everyone dripping from the heat. I absented my body for that period by way of a fantasy involving a certain Greek island, so it went quickly. Then the walk back to our campus from the train station – 35C felt cool getting out of the train – and traffic, traffic, everywhere. All the world was traffic, and people.  
 

Now I have sterilized my body and air conditioned myself my outlook has improved; however, I never want to see this city again after 25 Aug 2007.  It occurs to me that many people here have not been out of Beijing, and almost all outside of China. Their worlds are this city. They climb the Great Wall in high heels and designer clothes talking on cellphones merely to buy certificates of proof and to take pictures of themselves in front of it. How is it possible to live without knowing of the silence, peace, and solitude of the natural world?